i feel like im having more and more trouble peeing and my surgery is still more than a week and a half away and nobody from the doctor's office will tell me what i should be expecting or seems to give a shit about me.

i had to learn on my own that ibuprofen is a no-no, and i don't have tylenol so sleep last night was difficult. i'm tired all the time, which i can only assume is tied to my poor quality of sleep.

i don't know what i will do if i can't pee normally ever again for the rest of my life. i don't have the time to spend forever in a bathroom each day; i don't have the luxury of silence and privacy always, and i can't imagine what sort of infections are going to happen because of this.

and nobody, nobody cares.

the surgeon is in motherfucking italy.

i don't know anything.