vampers don't get tumors, right? can i be a vampire? OH better yet, can i drink some vampire blood?

i read the first three books of the sookie stackhouse series yesterday... i don't want to read more because i don't want to ruin true blood's fourth season for myself. i'm watching true blood over again from the beginning because it's distracting.

tired of having crying fits every couple of days and being a total bitch to everyone. but it would help if i got some ANSWERS, dammit.

i feel like im having more and more trouble peeing and my surgery is still more than a week and a half away and nobody from the doctor's office will tell me what i should be expecting or seems to give a shit about me.

i had to learn on my own that ibuprofen is a no-no, and i don't have tylenol so sleep last night was difficult. i'm tired all the time, which i can only assume is tied to my poor quality of sleep.

i don't know what i will do if i can't pee normally ever again for the rest of my life. i don't have the time to spend forever in a bathroom each day; i don't have the luxury of silence and privacy always, and i can't imagine what sort of infections are going to happen because of this.

and nobody, nobody cares.

the surgeon is in motherfucking italy.

i don't know anything.