I am inspired by Julie of Julie&Julia fame, though perhaps I like her less now that she is not exactly Amy Adams. I think I need a project.

I'm in a strange limbo where I can't tell people I'm unemployed because technically I'm not, but I can't tell people I have a real job either, because I don't want to accept their congratulations and accept that this is my source of employment. I'm not ashamed of where I'm working; I'm happy to be there, to be earning some decent hourly pay, and to be on campus, pretending I still go there. I just don't want to get too complacent, something I worry that I already am.

My dream is to go to Taiwan in January and February. My life is one big scheme to get out of this country and back into a fantasy world where I can be young forever. Carefree and unemployed and loving it. That is the life I lived this summer, and perhaps my taste for that is too strong now.

I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to work at a newspaper anymore, I think. I really don't. I don't think I'm intrepid enough. I don't think I'm creative enough. I don't think I care enough. I want to have my nights and weekends and have fun. But then again, I don't know what I actually want to do, either. So journalism it may be.

I just want to float.

I can't think of a title for this post.

There have been words floating around in my head for a while now; it's a strange feeling because I always felt like I could only write or blog when I was unhappy and I'm quite content right now, despite my uncertain future.

Maybe I'm coming full circle; I'm listening to a live q&a with Michelle Branch as I'm typing this, and the last time she had a solo album was sometime when I was in high school, reading Robert Jordan. "Desperately" always reminds me of the Wheel of Time. It's an incongruous match, but there you go.

Of course, now that I've started typing, the words are gone, but it's okay.

I think I'm back.